Fame and fortune

First of all there was Pop Stars, Pop Idol, Fame academy and the X Factor - Now we have FameLab, the Pop Idol of the science world. Somehow I can't see it filling a prime time saturday evening slot, although some of the auditions will probably be even more cringe-worthy than some of the bad Pop Idol auditions! And no, I won't be entering - I have no desire to become the next Will Young in a white coat.

Work rant

The hours at work are quite flexible, hence I aim to be in around 9.30
(usually it's closer to 10 by the time I've found a parking space) and stay
usually until after 6 (unless I have mis-timed the lab work or things have
gone wrong, then it's later). This works for me as 9-5 would mean spending
twice as much time sitting in traffic - by the time I leave work the roads
are empty and I can fly home. For others here, the arrival time varies but
the 5pm departure is set in stone. Half hour coffee breaks morning and
afternoon, 90 minute lunch breaks and they still manage to be out by 5! If I
hear one more wisecrack about not being able to get out of bed and my late
arrivals I will personally chain them to my bench and point out to them the
time I spend in the break room and the time at which I down tools and leave.
And would the person who stole my mug from the cupboard please return it
before I need my next caffeine fix at about 3pm - (not even the layer upon
layer of tea stains has put them off taking it).

Weekends were made for this

We've spent the whole weekend doing what we want to do and I really feel like I'm starting to relax. We headed towards Newcastle and spent the day on the Quayside, taking in the bridges, the Baltic, the Sage, a good lunch and a stroll along the banks of the Tyne. We're easy pleased! Although the 'contemporary art' in the Baltic was a bit weird and we didn't go past the first floor. An old record or a piece of graph paper with some of the squares shaded in isn't really my idea of good art.

We did have a frustrating morning though. This was the third time we had tried to view the same house, the first time the owner turned us away saying he had told the estate agent to cancel and last time there was nobody in when we went. We were really looking forward to seeing it again (we saw it a few months ago but thought it was too much of a mess) but yet again there was nobody there. We think this is another case of people not really wanting to sell despite their house being on the market. After the wife has been dropped in with viewings on our place recently we are starting to get sick of the whole house business. I think we started looking too early, before we were able to do anything about moving. Hopefully, we can get another viewing with the agent rather than the vendor because we think this is the house for us!

Tonight though I'm all calm and relaxed after our day in the sunshine. Time for a soak in the bath and curl up with the wife in front of the TV.

Dr Holly

The fools fell for it and have award me the PhD. The viva wasn't nearly as bad as I expected and I was pleased with some of the feedback I got, although I didn't perform quite as well as I would have liked to. The relief is enormous and not just for me but for everyone around me as well I expect. There are certain people that I couldn't have done it without, the wife in particular has got me through the last four years and if it wasn't for her I don't think I would have finished it (although se got me into that mess in the first place!). And what better excuse to open the bottle of very nice champagne that's been sitting on the shelf for the last two years!

Delightful distractions

Locked away at home revising I over-heard the wife playing computer games with 5 year old:

Wife: "I'll only play if you stop picking your nose... [Pause]... your turn... [Pause]... What have you done with your snots?"

And that's why I tend not to use the wifes computer!

Time up

My viva is nearly here thank God! I've had enough sleepless nights and stomach chunring to last me now thank you very much. People keep telling me, and I think I know they're right, that it is just formality and I couldn't get this far and not pass but there is a little niggle that keeps me thinking I could be the first person in the department to fail outright! The closer it gets the more convinced I am that I know nothing about my subject. By tomorrow I'll know nothing but am aiming to know it all - I'd better crack on then!

It doesn't help that I've re-discovered one of my old childhood favourites - Lemmings

Who's the daddy

Discussing the subject of my last post with my mother she set off on one along the lines of "that generation have payed for the NHS all their lives and are now being denied the treatment they deserve" which of course I aggree with but she followed it up with "instead the money is being spent on sex change operations and fertility treatment for same sex couples!"

I guess I'll not get impregnated by the NHS then.

Alzheimer's

NICE (National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence) were supposed to publish their guidelines for the treatment of Alzheimer's disease but have delayed this and have instaed put out their draft guidelines. I suppose this means that there is still some hope. I mentioned this briefly back in March but have a lot more to say on this matter now.

NICE are suggesting that the only effective drugs used in the treatment of Alzheimer's be used only once patients have progressed to the moderate/severe stages of the disease. That is, once the disease has progressed far enough to affect daily life for patients and their carers, often to the extent where the patient has to leave their home for long term care. Is it really fair to wait until a disease has become this severe before starting treatment?

Alzheimer's does not just manifest as memory loss. Depression, aggression, delusions and hallucinaitons are other common symptoms on top of the cognitve decline. (Indeed, the guidelines suggest that the one drug which in severe Alzheimers is effective against these distressing, behavioural symptoms be withdrawn altogether). The disease doesn't just affect the patient, carers are as affected by Alzheimers and are often elderly spouses who find the physical demands as hard as the emotional strain. There is no cure but current treatments slow the progression of this disease, allowing people affected by Alzheimer's to maintain a better quality of life for longer. While these draft guidelines are better than the complete ban on the use of these drugs that was suggested last year, not all of the factors have been taken into consideration and the new suggestions are still far from ideal.

For more information on dementia or the NICE guidelines visit the Alzheimer's Society. They can also offer help and support if you or someone you know is affectd by dementia. (Or the Alzheimer's Association in the US - but the NICE business is irrelevent so you US readers probably won't have got this far)!

Appreciation

How wonderful is the wife? She has been in the kitchen for hours preparing sunday dinner - roast beef with all the trimmings - allowing me to get on with revision for my viva. The house is full of wonderful smells! She has this canny knack of knowing how and when to make my life easy.

Milk and sugar?

Last week we had the news that boobs can bounce up to 135m as a woman runs a mile. This week the men in white coats have come up with the idea that coffee consumption can boost a womans sex drive. (Is there a theme developing here? But hey, Women, science and coffee - what better combination). I want to do this sort of research, or in the case of the coffee, I'll volunteer as a human subject! It's reassuring to know that grant money is being spent on life-changing research. Coffee anyone?

Ziggy

This is one of the best news stories I've read in a while.

"Somewhere in Yorkshire, there lurks a proverbially nauseous parrot. Ziggy, an eight-year-old African Grey, had provided Chris Taylor with years of companionship until the fateful day when he opened his beak to mimic his owner's girlfriend and squawked out one word: Gary.
Ziggy's obsession with his latest impression grew and he began uttering "Hi Gary!" every time Suzy Collins' mobile phone rang. Chris's suspicions deepened after Ziggy started to make long kissing noises whenever he heard the name Gary on television or the radio.
Things between Chris and Suzy finally came to a head the night Ziggy decided to blurt out: "I love you, Gary" in her voice. When Chris confronted Suzy about his pet's obsession, she admitted to having had a four-month affair with Gary, a former colleague".

A know-it-all

My school reports always used to say 'Holly needs to ask if there is something that she doesn't understand'. I used to hate having to put up my hand in class for fear of looking like an idiot, I always felt that I should know it and shouldn't need to ask. Now I'm feeling like I'm in the same situation. As a post-doc I'm working on a similar sort of project to my post-grad project but there are some big differences. I don't know at what point I should be putting up my hand and saying 'I don't understand' or 'am I doing this right'. I'm teaching myself but then I worry that I'm wasting time on stuff that I should know. I'm not supposed to know it all and I'm not trying to pretend that I do - I just still haven't learnt when to ask for help.

Summer time

It's a beautiful, spring like day here in the North East. When I got up this morning I opened the windows and was pleasently surprised that I didn't freeze or get blown away and could hear the birds singing. (I was almost inspired to write poetry, but I can't and I was more interested in getting rid of the smell of the delicious if rather strong curry the wife cooked last night before a couple came to look at the house). Even now, I'm sitting in my office with the window wide open. Is winter now behind us or am I tempting fate? Will I wake tomorrow morning to find us snowed in? Is it wrong that we will get colder due to global warming and we are actually getting warmer? Or does everything just seem sunnier after a good nights sleep?

Following a trend

I'm revising for my PhD viva which is in X days (I'm not saying how many for the simple reason that it will scare the shit out of me). The wife is being very supportive and trying to make me feel less anxious by reminding me that the examiners won't actually have read the whole thing. In which case, why did I do it? Why oh why did I spend four years worth of blood, sweat and tears producing a 250 page document that no one will ever read properly? And why oh why when I was proof reading before submission did I not spot the glaringly obvious mistake of putting one number in table 1 and a completely different number in my discussion of table 1?* Perhaps I was unknowingly, being fashionable before it was fashionable to make up results like Dr Hwang and his fake cloning and Dr Sudbo and his imaginary cohort of patients with oral cancer. Disgrace me now, save me from the trauma of the interrogation viva and let me go and get a proper job. (Like creating fluorescent pigs - I was about to lay into Ms Kennedy over this portrayal of scientists but then realised that she is actually fairly accurate in her description: "Scientists are, by their very definition, nerds with curious senses of humour and no sex skills")!

*Please note that I would never knowingly fabricate data, I am however very good at typographical errors

The saga continues

We are still looking for a house, I know, it has been going on for months! This week we have been messed around three times. We want to go back and see a house we have seen before but discounted because we would have ended up knocking down walls and building new ones. Now we have decided that this wouldn't be so bad if it would give us the space we need. The first night we knocked on the door and the bloke answered in his dressing gown and said he had told the agents to cancel so we rearranged for yesterday. When we tried again yesterday there was no answer. Friday someone was supposed to come and see our house and despite claiming to have knocked on the door, failed to turn up.

We daren't go for the house we really want because the woman doesn't want to move but is being forced out by her ex so she is being difficult about viewings, putting holes in walls, ripping tiles off bathrooms... We don't trust her not to leave the house which would leave us stuck if our place sells. Another house has come onto the market - perfect location, ideal size, fantastic garden - but it's a complete modernisation job. I think this would be good fun (and a chance to build up a collection of power tools)! Perhaps we have been to fussy in the past and are now getting desperate!

More science

There is an article today which provides further evidence that exercise is unhealthy and makes me think that I'm in the wrong field, this is the kind of research I want to do!

Mad, bad and dangerous to know?

I am supposed to be training on a newly installed peice of kit this week but it has broken down already. Just as I was starting to get the hang of it and getting all excited about running proper samples, it starting throwing up all sorts of error messages. By the time it is fixed I will probably have forgotten even how to turn the thing on let alone do any analysis. Fortunately the technical support is pretty good so we should be up and running again soon. I have taken the opportunity to work from home on catching up with blog reading/writing report writing, grant applications and revising my Phd for my viva in a couple of weeks.

On the subject of grant applications, I've just started this project and we are already putting in new applications. Unfortunately I think this is going to be the story of my life, unless I make the break into industry. This isn't a move I'm keen on, I want my work to be useful in ways other than to line the pockets of the share holders but at the same time all the bureaucracy in academia is already getting in the way of me just getting on with research. This article sums it up nicely, and I guess it's that 'eureka' moment that keeps me going. As for whether I look like a mad scientist should do - perhaps I do a little bit first thing in the morning but for you own sake I shall leave it to your imagination!

New Addition

Happy news - another grandkid has joined the family and the girls now out number the boys! The photos are gorgeous and I can't wait to meet her. The only trouble is that she will set my biological clock ticking! Surprisingly the wife is quite keen for me to have kids and we often talked about how one of her sons would be the ideal donor/father. We'll just have to wait and see if any of them still want to 'sow their oats' when the time comes! Perhaps I should just stick to grandkids. The oldest (6 yr old) has been here tonight. Her giggle is so infectious that we were both aching from laughing and I still couldn't tell you what we found so amusing! What better therapy can there be.

Insomnia

I've spent the last half hour writing a post which started off about Big Brother and turned into something quite philosophical. However I'm struggling to get my ideas down coherently so will sleep on it and finish it off in the morning. I'm knackered as the wife couldn't sleep last night which as it turned out was quite entertaining (although not for the reasons you might be thinking)! As I was trying to sleep we had the following exchange;

Wife: 'Are you tired?'
Me: 'Uh huh'
Wife: 'You're always bloody tired you are'!
Me: 'Well it is half past three in the bloody morning'!

Fortunately this amused us both, but I didn't dare tell her I was knackered this afternoon!

Resolutely resolved

I have spent the last few days thinking about new years resolutions. Things
like improve my fitness, eat more healthily, drink less, be better at
keeping in touch with people, procrastinate less and work more... you've
heard them all before I'm sure. But if it has taken me until the 4th and I
still haven't decided then it is a waste of time, since I should have broken
my new years resolution by yesterday. So don't be looking at me to change.

(Perhaps I should resolve to find more interesting topics to blog about)

Have a Happy One

Happy New Year to you!

I finally made it home in time for New Year. I was all prepared to battle my
way through the weather to get here but saw very little evidence of the
several feet of snow the TV had been prattling on about. New Years eve was a
quiet one. I find it is over rated and I'm not one for spending half an hour
at the bar trying to get a drink while being jostled from all sides and
having perfect stranges jump on you at midnight, so we stayed at home and
watched the festivities on the TV (where the bottle of bubbly was accessible
without having to leave the sofa). There was a little excitement at midnight
when the wife got a phone call to say her sons wife had gone into labour and
that yet another grandkid was on the way but it turned out to be a false
alarm.

New Years day was our Christmas day so after exchanging presents and a big
breakfast we went for a walk on the beach. Although it was drizzly and the
wind was chilly, the tide was in and the waves were crashing over the sea
wall and it was just the perfect way to blow away the past year ready to
start again. Of course then we had to have a go on the slot machines in the
amusement arcade to dry off - (I was three quid up at one point but
eventually lost twice that) - Vegas it ain't but it was fun! We had bought
each other daft gifts this year so spent the rest of the day playing table
football, magnetic darts and monopoly, before collapsing in an exhaused heap
in front of 'Under the Tuscan Sun'. If you haven't seen it and want a nice,
feel good film, its well worth a watch (and Tuscany looks gorgeous which has
set the wife off thinking about moving somewhere warm and sunny and
Tuscany-like)!

But now it is like the holidays never happened and life is back to normal,
it's my first day back at work and i'm full of enthusiasm (hence I have time
to write all this rubbish)! So wherever you are, whoever you are and
whatever you do, I hope 2006 is a good year!