Hands

Hand
by Carol Ann Duffy

Away from you, I hold hands with the air,
your imagined, untouchable hand. Not there,
your fingers braid with mine as I walk.
Far away in my heart you start to talk.

I squeeze the air, kicking the auburn leaves,
everything suddenly gold. I half believe
your hand is holding mine. The way it would
if you were here. what do you say

in my heart? I bend my head to listen, then feel
your hand reach out and stroke my hair, as real
as the wind caressing the fretful trees above.
Now I can hear you clearly, speaking of love.


From Rapture, Carol Ann Duffy (2005)



I stopped and thought about my last post after I had written it and realised that I have a lot more choice in how I spend the holidays than many people do. We choose to spend christmas where we do, if only for a quiet life for the other 364 days of the year. So this is firstly for the wife and secondly for who ever you want it to be for.

Discontent

I was planning on travelling home tomorrow but all I keep hearing about is heavy snow and disruption. The met office are saying an 80% risk of disruption up the eastern side of the country - half the length of which I want to trundle up tomorrow in my little tin can. As it is, although there's no snow here I can't get into my car because of frozen locks (problem there being that the gin is in the boot, an extra 24 hours here and I'm going to need that gin)! I don't like driving in the snow as I tend to get transfixed on the falling snow hitting the windscreen and forget that I'm hurtling along at speed. My other problem is that I'm succeeding in losing weight at a time when most people are putting it on. The wife and I love our food. Before we even make it out of bed, three meals are planned for the day ahead. My mum has one meal a day and so there are none of the lovely morning/lunch/afternoon snacks that I am used to. No bacon and egg, sausage sarnies or three course lunches. There's not even a mince pie in the house! There is a small box of Celebrations but my small cousins ate all the best ones the other day (on the up side I have just spotted Celebrations Mahjongg, if only dial-up wasn't so slow, it might take my mind of the hungar). Of course food isn't the only reason I miss home, there's the dog as well. (Oh, and the wife's sense of humour) And her.....

...well, just her!

Mistletoe and Wine

All of a sudden Christmas appeared. I suppose it's because I didn't have much preparation to do. I travelled to my mums last Friday and things have been a little bit strange here. I still haven't spoken to my dad since he left and I thought he might try to phone me this week. So far he hasn't but I did get a card! Mum is finding this week hard but fortunately Christmas day we went to friends, otherwise it might have been depressing just us at home. As it was we had a good time, although I think I may have been mostly responsible the empty bottle of brandy!

The wife is still at home with her family. Of course I miss her whenever I'm away but this time I'm particularly feeling it. (I don't want to think about how big my phone bill will be, but she has such a gorgeous phone voice)! I think it's because she is great to talk to when I get fed up of the situation with my parents, or any situation for that matter. And also because if it was just us two at Christmas we would make it a special time, more so than it is for either of us as things are. Hey-ho, just three more sleeps until I go home and my little cousins are coming tomorrow so that will keep me busy for the day.

I hope you had a great time this Christmas and that it was everything you wanted it to be.

Away in a manger

This morning I got to go to the oldest grandkids carol service. I was preparing a rant about how her school weren't doing a nativity play and how the true meaning of Christmas has been lost but the school have redeemed themselves. Although I suppose nativity plays must be a chore for teachers and parents alike - apart from the one line your little darling gets to say the rest is irrelevant. I always ended up being an angel, with itchy tinsel wrapped around my head. Apart from the year I was a cloud (a sign that class sizes were on the increase and there weren't enough parts to go round?). I always wanted to be a shepherd, I wanted to sit around in my dressing gown with a tea-stained t-towel on my head! Anyway, the carol service was lovely (apart from the happy-clappy woman who spent too long trying to convince 4 and 5 year olds that when they look at their christmas tree they should remember Jesus dying on the cross and some other miracle that even I, as a good catholic girl, couldn't understand). The little'un was pleased we were there though.

Afterwards we went Christmas shopping - i.e. a two hour lunch and half an hour in the shops before deciding we'd had enough!

Dirty stop out

A friend came for dinner last night and drank us dry. She didn't leave until 3am and then only because the wife actually fell asleep! The trouble is, no matter what time I go to bed I still wake up at the same time so today has been a write-off, I have hardly left the sofa. Is 7.30pm to early to go to bed?

Our Story: Part 2

I just rattled off the first part without really stopping but this I have thought about a bit more. The first part probably reads like your typical girl-meets-girl kind of tale but here are the bits I missed out.

On the internet, when we were having fun in a chat room, age was irrelevant but it eventually came out that the wife is twice my age. Me being a young 20-something had no history, no baggage, but she had been married and had kids who are my age. This wasn’t a problem online and neither of us expected the relationship to continue in the real world. We expected to go home from our first meeting as good friends, nothing more. We have discussed the age gap so often, less so now than in the early days, and decided that when we are left alone to get on with our lives it is not an issue.

Obviously, the situation is complicated by her kids. We have decided that it is simpler to keep our relationship to ourselves and the age gap makes this easier – well who would think that their mother was having an affair with a woman more than half her age? The situation was ideal. The wife was living alone and I needed a place to live, the rent I pay her comes in handy and it’s cheaper for me than renting elsewhere. Plus we get on so well. The added bonus for me is the grandkids. The oldest was only one when I moved in and more have arrived since and I have been able enjoy them growing up. All the advantages of being a grandparent with none of the responsibilities.

There are times that the age gap is felt – I am just setting out on my career while the wife is thinking towards retirement; her life is full of grandchildren while I would love to have children of my own one day; But when it’s just us, life couldn’t be much better. Frequently I wonder who is older, especially when she is up half the night while I am in bed by 10.30 or when I’m telling her to quieten down before the neighbours start to complain!

I can’t imagine what my life would be like now if we had done the ‘sensible thing’ and just stuck to being friends. The wife has always been there for me over the last five years and will, God willing, be there for many years to come. I know many people wouldn’t approve and indeed when an old friend of mine came to visit recently it seemed she couldn’t see past the age gap, although fortunately she is the exception. Hopefully, by telling our story in two parts, you will see that we are just a regular couple living our regular life and the little things aren't important.

Mouth watering

Earlier this evening the wife was watching TV in which Hugh Fernley Whittingstall was killing a turkey for Christmas dinner. This seemed to upset her somewhat, to the extent that she declared "if I didn't enjoy eating meat so much I would be a vegetarian". I missed the programme as I was cooking a turkey curry. Yes, she did eat it and yes, she did enjoy it!

Up the creek

I have been sent home from work after nearly two weeks as the funds out of which my wages are paid haven't come through yet. It's good to have a nice long Christmas holiday but not so good as I was expecting to be paid at the end of this month and have been bashing the credit card a bit recently. It would also seem that I have worked several days for nothing, although I wasn't that busy and spent quite a bit of time practicing solitaire. And I got most of the background reading to the project done so that when I start again next month it will be a nice easy start. If anyone would like to make a donation my email address is at the side (shy kids get nowt)!

At least I've got plenty of time to finish 'our story' and have a play around with the template, see if I can't brighten this place up a bit.

And for free entertainment I'm getting into Mahjong and to replace Sudoku there is Kakuro.

Our story

This is the story of how the wife and I met, just over five years ago and the first year we were together. It's a long one so I hope you're sitting comfortably.

We met online back in December 2000 when I was living with my parents and the wife was living 200 miles further north. I think we were both looking for a bit of fun which is exactly how it started out although the only thing I remember about that night is her words, she is a poet at heart. The following few nights we found each other again in the same chat room and the rest as they say is history. We first spoke on the phone an hour into 2001 and this is how the relationship was conducted over the next few weeks.

Inevitably we had to meet and so it was with a churning in my stomach I set out one morning in March only to be back home an hour later as the 5 millimetres of snow had stopped the buses running and inevitably, the trains wouldn’t be far behind them. The wife thought this was just an excuse but I proved her wrong when we finally made it to York on the 19th April 2001. I will never forget those first few minutes in York station and the following taxi ride to the minster (it was raining and there was no way the wife was going to get her hair wet - something I was to get used to)! I was so nervous that all I could say for the first 10 minutes was yes or no and all my efforts were concentrated into stopping my knees from knocking together, (successfully as she never noticed me shaking). We walked around the Minster and few of the shops before finding somewhere to eat. I sat there with visions of me spilling gravy down my top and dropping peas everywhere but the meal passed without incident, apart from the wife stopping me mid-sentence to mutter something behind her hand. I didn't hear what it was she said but could tell from the look on her face that she felt the same way I did.

Later that afternoon we found ourselves in a cosy pub (something we have become good at) and talked for hours. It was only after admiring her watch that we noticed the time and that we had both missed our trains home. Deciding that there was nothing we could do about it we had another drink then made our way to the station. The departure board showed no trains going in my direction and the wife was adamant that she couldn't leave me behind not knowing if I would be stuck there, so would I go home with her. I protested a couple of times (along the lines of "no I couldn't, there will be a train along in a minute, no really, oh, okay then, why not"). By the time we had bought the ticket there was indeed a train going my way but by then it was too late. On the way home she kept telling me that she would sleep on the sofa, trying to convince me that the invitation was more about my saftey than wanting to get me into bed. I must have been convinced as York to Manchester in the rush hour is not short of trains!

On the walk from the station to her home we stopped off in another cosy pub (see, it’s a habit) and found a quiet nook where we talked some more, and some more. Eventually we made it home and, I'll not go into detail, but wine, music and a comfy sofa... We did both sleep in her bed (being all shy I borrowed a nighty of hers but she is smaller than me, how anything happened that night with me wearing that I'll never know, I could barely move in it. But happen it did). This was the first time either of us had slept with another woman (I'm a slow starter and God only knows what her excuse is)!

The following day we danced to Van Morrison as we waited for the taxi to take me to the station. I returned home and started planning our next meeting. She came to stay with me for a couple of days by which time I was applying for jobs at her end of the country and after a few weeks I had a couple of interviews. In the July we hired a cottage in the Lake District and spent a magical week getting to know each other, no one has ever made me laugh as much as she did that week (things like sex in the jacuzzi being interrupted by worries of the bubbles ruining the carpet and not being able to find car parks so continuing through three towns until we reached the sea and couldn't drive any further).

In between visits it was frustrating having to go back to conducting our relationship over the phone and internet, that is where the title of this blog came from, we were contentedly discontent. August we spent apart but then more interviews came up in September, one which allowed us to spend a couple of days in Northumberland where we rented an apartment for a couple of days (I would like to appologise to the owner for the dents left in the carpet where we pushed to two single beds together, we were young and in love)! Then out of the blue, I was offered a job and three weeks later I moved in with the wife for good. It was then that I realised that I couldn't remember her asking me to move in, had I just taken in upon myself to turn up with my suitcase and boxes of junk? The wife can't remember either but she didn't seem to mind.

So that's it. But when real life takes over it's not quite that simple.

To be continued…

Disclaimer

We were talking last night about blogging and the wife pointed out that the
title of this blog is a phrase of hers (uttered frequently when we were
living hundreds of miles apart). So I agreed to a disclaimer along the lines
of "The title 'Contentedly Discontent' remains the property of the wife and
is not my original work" - which, as she pointed out, is profoundly
unprofound!

Popping the question

Am I still allowed to call the wife 'the wife' since the civil partnership act came into being last week? I did point out to the wife that we could now marry (sorry, it's not called marriage, she could become my civil partner), and she asked 'would you really want to?' I didn't pursue the matter any further!

I shall simply treasure the ring she bought me in our first year (and one day tell you our story and why, for my own safety, she won't 'marry' me)!

Food for thought

There is something disappointing about having a meal and not enjoying it. The wife and I love our food but this can sometimes become a problem. Today we had a break from the Sunday roast and got loads of stuff to go in a stir-fry. Lovely, until we opened a jar of sauce which kind of spoilt it. I hate spending time preparing lovely ingredients only to not enjoy the finished meal, I feel cheated and totally not satisfied!

To cheer things up a bit we have put up some decorations, although I'm still not feeling the christmas cheer. I am however finding it amusing when things keep falling down making the wife jump up to stick them back up again - it won't go on for much longer, super-strength sticky tape will be used once the novelty wears off! I'll be less amused if it pulls the paint of the recently painted walls. And candlelight is very romantic (but I hope the wax doesn't go go all over the new mantlepiece) Never mind, come boxing day I'll have changed my mind and be full of the spirit of the season! Now where did I put those chocolate tree decorations...?

The wheels on the bus

I have to confess to being a bit of a bus spotter (I can spot a Vanhool from a Scania at 100 meters) so I was sad to read about the end of the Routemaster on the streets of London. When I lived down there I much preferred to take the bus than the Tube and often used to take a route that used the old Routemasters rather than the modern pay-the-grumpy-driver buses. There was something special about crossing Westminster bridge and passing Big Ben on the number 12, although on a number of occasions I jumped off the back and crashed straight into a lampost! The reasons for getting rid (maintenance cost, health and safety etc.) are out numbered by the reasons why they should be kept, in my opinion. Of course their case isn't helped by the fact that they need two staff, driver and conductor (conductors being more friendly and helpful than drivers make this a plus if you ask me) I expect the accountants can't wait for the day when London transport can be controlled remotely from a call center in India! It's like trying to get rid of the yellow taxis in New York (not that I have ever been to New York, but I did experience a scary yellow taxi ride in Philadelphia last year), anyway, I expect it wouldn't be allowed. Perhaps to console myself I'll go and build a paper bus (and start thinking about something sensible to blog about)!

Televisual delights!

I was going to blog about how Sarah Beeny , Davina McCall and chocolate muffins all in one program make for a televisual delight. But then I would have to tell you that how I convinced the wife that even if Sarah Beeny and Davina McCall arrived together to feed me chocolate muffins I would turn them away. I pointed out it is 5 years tomorrow since we met. "Is it really, the 10th tomorrow" was her reply. "No, the 9th" said I, not surprised. "The 9th tomorrow?" asked she, "yes, the 9th of December, 5 years, tomorrow" said I. The wife's typically lovely reply was "Well, as the dwarf said to Snow White, it's not the length that matters, it's how good it is"! How could anyone compete with that?

And how are you today?

A note to all customer service operatives: when you phone me to try and get
my to spend my money on something I don't really want or need, asking me if
you can call me by my first name and then asking how I am today will not
make me any more likely to part with my money. Phoning just as I am sitting
down to eat will also not make me any more likely to listen to your whole
speech before I interrupt to tell you that I'm not interested thank you
anyway. I have nothing against you personally, I know you are only doing a
job, but I have to get this rant off my chest. Next time you phone me dear
credit card company and ask how I am today, you might just find out the
f*****g truth!

P.S. I have nothing against customer service people (the wife was one
herself for a time) I merely object to the companies that employ them to bug
me!

Thank you for your time today.

Bah Humbug

Is it just me or is anyone else sick of Christmas already? Every year the madness starts earlier - the traffic last night was chaos and unfortunately my journey takes me in the general area of the Metro Centre, a nightmare of a place at the best of times but full of Christmas shoppers it is hell on earth. Try finding a parking space anywhere near the city centre and you can kiss goodbye to getting to a meeting on time (how to make a good impression in your first week)! Three of the houses opposite our bedroom window are already illuminated and flashing incessantly and it is only a matter of time before the inflatable santa is trying to float down from the roof of a house around the corner. Fortunately I can come out of hiding at work as the christmas meal is booked and paid for and I have managed to avoid adding my name to the list (not the meal for which we were asked to sign up for in June - I deleted that email without even reading past the subject line). It's not that I don't want to go, I just can't afford it having not been paid since January. That and the 'secret santa'. I still haven't worked out who the person I had to buy for last year is and obviously who ever bought for me doesn't know me from Adam as I am still deciding if it is a table cloth or a shawl!

Perhaps my lack of enthusiasm for christmas is down to the fact that I'm not looking forward to the event itself in any way, shape or form after my Dads recent departure from the family. Christmas day was the only day in recent years when my parents, my brother and myself were all in the same place at the same time. Also, due to our respective family commitments the wife and I have to spend Christmas apart. Perhaps it is also due to the lack of small children in my family (for which my mother will only blame myself)! Christmas doesn't seem to have the same magic as it does when there a kids involved. Which reminds me that Christmas isn't all bad as I'm sure the kids on the wife's side of the family will be only to happy to help decorate the house and make mince pies!

So when is the last posting date for Christmas? No, not for posting cards but for ordering on the internet, you don't think I'm going near a shop do you!

The future's bright

When I first started my phd project many moons ago it was all so new and
exciting and I set out with the idea that I was going to change the world
(or at least come up with something useful to lessen the suffering of
generations to come). In reality this didn't happen (although someone
somewhere might find my work interesting one day, if only to stop them going
through the endless repetition of experiments that I went through). The
problem I now have is that, as much as I try to ignore it, that same feeling
of setting out to change the world keeps popping into my head. I can't help
wondering if every time I start a new project I'm going to have the same
ideas only to spend the next 3 years banging my head against a brick wall
and begging for funding to try something else (but I shall save the joys of
funding and contracts in the hallowed halls of academia for another post).
For now though I can't help feeling just a little bit excited!

Physical and mental anguish!

We were going to go away for a romantic weekend together this weekend but took one look at the weather forecast and decided to have a romantic weekend at home. The wife has a cold so hit the whiskey last night (for medicinal purposes of course) and it turned into one of those up half the night talking sessions. However judging by the muscles that are aching today it was the other half of the night that we enjoyed even more. Perhaps I'm not as fit as I thought I was!

Tomorrow I officially start my new job. The advantage over most new jobs is that I am still working in the same place as I have been for the last four years. As this means that I don't have to go through all the stress associated with being a newbie I can focus all my anxieties onto the fact that I should now know what I'm talking about. There is no longer the excuse of "I'm only a student so you can't expect me to know that yet" but I'm still not quite sure of what's expected of me as a post-doc. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before people work out that I don't really have a clue!

Love is blind (just not to damp walls)

Friday night is property night in the local paper and the wife is scouring the pages, the frustration starting to show. There has been some interest in the wifes house and one couple apparently said they had to speak to the bank first but they want to put in an offer but then the next day they said they were going to see somewhere else before deciding (I know they are only trying to get the best price but they are offending my wife)! We, in the mean time, have changed our minds on the house we have the offer on. It's still gorgeous (or will be once we have finished with it) but it is a bit out of the way and kind of small compared to what we could get for the money. I know, I know, we are a bit indecisive, but hey, we like to be difficult. In the mean time the wife is getting frustrated and my attempts at making her feel better demonstrate just how romantic she is. I bent down to kiss her and said "I don't care where we end up as long as we are together, a cardboard box would do" to which her reply was "not tonight it wouldn't, it's feckin freezing"!

Happy families

I'm back, life is returning to normal. I spent a few days visiting my mum
and couldn't be doing with the time it took to do anything using her steam
powered pc with a super-slow dial-up. The reason I was visiting her is
because my dad has decided to trade her in for a younger model. I'm not
going to start throwing insults around here but suffice to say he is not my
most favourite person at the moment. I have had to come home and can't help
worrying about mum. Occasionally I feel sorry for him as well but then
remember the way he is treating his family. The anger is starting to fade
but I'm not sure I'll ever be able to forgive his recent behavour.

Where am I?

The footie was terrible at the weekend - both teams played badly but my old team won. At the end the wife got into a heated argument (i.e. nearly a full on fight) with another woman who told her that she should shut up and not bother coming back. The wife is a very passionate supporter and as well as getting behind the team towards the end she was also telling them just how bad they were (which the commentator on the match highlights that night also pointed out). This other woman obviously thought that this isn't on and took her frustration out on my other half. We seemed to be seated among a group of regulars, forming a little clique and the presence of us strangers didn't go down to well. Being made to feel uncomfortable amongst your fellow supporters is enough to put you off going, especially at the price of the tickets. My day just got better on returning home and news of a family crisis reached me, hence my absence from here over the last few days. But that's a story for another day.

Bad loser?

When I was growing up I was a fan of our local premiership football team and dad often took us to the games on a Saturday afternoon. Since moving in with the wife my allegiances have shifted to her team. This afternoon the two teams are playing each other and we have tickets. My problem is who to support? I'm thinking I'll decide at half time based on the first half performance. Or sooner depending on the size of the Black Cat fans surrounding me. Last time they played up here we also went and my old team lost, much to the delight of the wife and her family!

A tale of two houses

We had to go into town this morning so I popped into the estate agents selling the house we have the offer on, just to see if they had a detail sheet for it yet (they don't and we're hoping as we offered so quickly they won't bother). As I was browsing for our little would-be palace I overheard a phone call to a Mrs Banks, the same name as the people we are hoping to buy from, at which my ears pricked. The agent said he had had another offer of £160K but still had to sell their home and was this similar to the other offer they had. If it is the same Mrs Banks then it is similar but slightly higher than our offer, which they were happy to accept. If it is the same Mrs Banks then both us and the other people wanting our would-be palace have to sell houses before being able to proceed. What are the chances of there being two Mrs Banks selling a house in the same price range with the same estate agents?


UPDATE at 15.45: The couple who viewed here the other night want to come back later this week for a second look in the daylight. The problem I have with this is that for the next 72 hours the wife will be cleaning, tidying and generally getting stressed while I keep track of how many times I get told off for leaving my shoes/cup/body lying around! Bless her!

Some people!

The new job I’m waiting to start is pretty much just an extension of my old job (only new title and more money – progressing from post-grad to post-doc) so I am occasionally popping into work to make sure that no one steals my pipettes or tidies my desk (a necessity since someone put my lab coat in for the laundry, never to be seen again – those stains represented hundreds of hours of hard labour and if it was smelly it was to keep people who would otherwise distract me away). Anyway, today I just happened to be in time for a departmental meeting, unfortunately. Firstly, it was chaired by a little man suffering from little man syndrome, full of his own importance and talking down to us all. Secondly, why is that whenever a meeting could be over with relatively quickly there is always someone who wants to discuss all the fine details that affect them personally yet affect no one else? It was just before lunch time and whenever she stopped to take a breath you could hear the bellies rumbling, mine included. I'll have to try and avoid the next meeting, trouble is I can't remember when it is!

Remembering

I was watching the remembrance day parades this morning and, among other thoughts, wishing I knew more about the history of the early 20th century and the two world wars in particular. I dropped history at school as soon as I could as I just couldn't see the point of it. All we seemed to do was how castles why castles were built on a hill surrounded by a moat and I think the wives of Henry 8th must have been taught because I can remember 'divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived', just don't ask me to name them. Perhaps all of this did shape the Great Britain we live in today but more modern history might have been more relevant to life today.

Adjusting

I'm starting to get used to having nothing to do. I'm getting to grips with day time TV schedules, my only complaint being that 15 to 1 isn't on anymore and Countdown just isn't the same without Richard Whiteley. The new 'Deal or no Deal' is completely addictive. The first time I saw it I thought it was the most boring, pointless 45 minutes of TV I'd seen in at least a week but the following day I found myself glued to the screen and now heaven forbid anyone interrupt me between 4.15 and 5pm. Then there's weakest Link followed by Eggheads and all of a sudden the day is over. I am debating whether when I start work again I should start early so that I can be home in time for all of this. Countdown starts at 3.30 so I would have to leave work at 3.00 at the latest which would mean starting at 7am. Okay, maybe not, especially as I used to struggle to get there for 10! Perhaps my priorities will have to change again.

Bodies

At last, I have dug out the credit card and purchased a router so I can now get on the world wide interweb anytime, any place, so expect more irrelevant ramblings and details of semi-significant moments in my life. Not now however since Bodies is starting and there is nothing better than a bit of blood and gore interspersed with bare breasts on a Saturday night.

Holidays

As I have finished writing up I am now on holiday for the next three weeks. So, this afternoon I went to the seaside! Actually we walked for hours. The wife took me around a park I've never seen before and we had probably the longest conversation we have had in many weeks - mostly planning what we want to do with our new house. That which has been keeping the wife occupied over the summer is over and out of her hands and the Phd which has filled every other thought I've had for the last four years is complete. Today has been like the days we used to have when we first got together and that first summer we spent together, before life got in the way. The difference today is that I love her even more than I did then and I can't wait for us to move into our new home.

March

Not wanting to wish my life away but I can't wait for next March!
Juliet Turner is touring and will be in the north east. We travelled up to Glasgow to see her last year and have been waiting for another gig ever since. Her live album came out yesterday - go and buy it now! Go, now! Ahh that Irish accent...

I have a life (sort of)

I finished my Phd thesis last week and got it submitted - all I have to do now is wait for the viva - joy! I have spent all weekend feeling guilty thinking that I should be working, instead I have had a life! Two days running we have been out for lunch, last night we went with a small child to a firework display, complete with fairground rides and most of today has been spent with my nose in a book. This however was not the type of book I am used to - this was a piece of fiction! Actually it wasn't, it was Gladys Reunited by Sandi Toksvig - a v funny read, but more biographical than fiction, including lots of stuff about American history. Next something really trashy. But to finish the weekend, a bath and a bottle of wine for the pair of us - time to get our life back.

Thoughts on today

I have developed a bit of a habit of talking to myself as I work. Now this
is fine when I'm locked away at home with only the dog to disturb but back
at work I'm wondering how long it's going to be before I get told to "shut
the f*** up". I prefer working at home for other reasons as well. 1) free
coffee (I haven't paid any tea money recently and daren't risk pinching even
a tea bag) 2) I got out of bed at 8.30am and still didn't start work until
nearly 10.00 and 3) the reason for 2) was that it took me 20 minutes to find
somewhere to park and there is no guaruntee that when I return to my car it
will still have four wheels and all windows in tact. I wouldn't mind so much
if they would steal the whole car as the insurance would pay towards a nice
shiny new one, but the locals aren't clever enough to get it started!

Frustration

I have sat around at work all day doing nothing (because I have nothing to
do for a change, not because I can't be bothered to do what I should be
doing) waiting for an email so that I would have something to do. I have
been logged into my email all day and repeatedly pressed the 'check mail'
button. So how many emails that I was waiting for do you think arrived?
That's right, none. Zero. And how many other emails arrived to take my mind
of the email that hadn't arrived? That's right, none. Zero. Not even a reply
from the wife about nothing in particular. Not even offers of cut-price
medication to improve my sexual performance. And not even one, single offer
of a penis enlargement. Am I to take it that I am unpopular.

Love at first sight

We have an offer in on a house. It's not the one I have been going on and on
about - the vendors keep messing around so we're giving up. This is however
gorgeous. Well it's not really gorgeous, but it has the potential. It has a
fantastic, south facing garden which only needs a little bit of TLC. Okay,
so the whole thing needs some work doing - but it's still gorgeous and is
(hopefully) going to be our dream home! Fingers crossed.


Update: 4.30pm - Offer has been accepted (subject to us selling the wifes house which shouldn't be too difficult as it's ideal for first time buyers/families, close to local amenities etc. Does anyone want an immaculately presented, larger than average, 3 bed house in north east city?). Wahooo!

Bugs

My wireless connection is playing up so I have to keep borrowing the wifes computer where thespacebutton onlyworks intermittently. I have been a bad blogger and not updated my links recently and now can't remember where to find people. Improving this here blog is one mission now that I have some time.

In other news, having spent time with a number of snotty under-fives recently I too am feeling snotty and achey. (No, it's not bird flu, it's not even flu - flu makes you ill. I havea plain old simple rhinovirus). It's a cold, wet day - perfect for snuggling under the quilt with buckets of tea and a classic film. Trouble is I can't decide which film.

Wife-isms

I kindly, because that's the kind of girl I am, ran the wife a bath with the intention of, because the wife is not a dirty person, going in after her. However, the boiler is playing up and when she got into the bath she told me the water wasn't very warm. I suggested that I got in with her (just so that I wouldn't be left with cold water you understand) to which she replied "don't be daft woman, it would overflow". Just another example of how my wife is very pracitcal and so not very romantic!

Back on the market

A few weeks back I mentioned that we had found a dream house but that it was sold before we had chance to do anything about it. Yesterday, it went back on the market. Apparently the sale has fallen through so we are all excited again, having decided that we would never find our ideal home. Going to move quickly this time though and are already picturing ourselves there. There is a fantastic room which is currently being used as a games room (including a full sized pool table). I suggested that it would make a fantastic bedroom, complete with a huge leather bed (although last time we stayed in a huge bed we couldn't find each other - it may destroy our sex life altogether). Anyway, the answer to this suggestion was "bugger off, imagine having a games room like that"!

Food for thought

Old Friend has been and gone. We have spent months decorating the house and all she could say was the living room is 'chilled'. And what about the shiny kitchen, gorgeous bathroom, stunning dining room etc. Instead the bed was bumpy, the hot water kept going cold. It's the first time she has met the wife and there again instead of 'she seems nice' or similar it was 'she's a bit old'. I know that this is just how O.F. is and I can't help thinking she is jealous of my happy home. On the up side, I did get to go to my favourite restaurant, and as a bonus it was happy hour - hooray for good food!

Irritations

I am getting mighty sick of all the hype about bird flu. The media coverage seems to me to be adding to the scaremongering rather than informing people of the facts. The TV reports seem to be using bird flu and regular flu in the same sentence. As yet the H5N1 strain of the virus isn't transmitted between people, the 60 fatalities in Asia since 2003 have all been in people who were in close contact with birds (and what is the population in Asia in millions?) and it can't be caught by eating poultry. So why there have been tales of people stock piling food I will never know.

The other piece of irritating news recently was the news that the US stopped the distribution of the UK military ration packs sent out after Katrina because of fears of BSE. The safeguards in place to prevent BSE infected meat entering the food chain have been stringent and as far as I am aware there is still no firm scientific evidence proving that vCJD is caused by eating infected meat. I hope that no one who had already lost everything went hungry because of this stupidity.

Two rants in one day - that should put me in a good mood for the rest of the week!

Hum

I'm getting old - Neighbours has been going for 20 years!

In other news, I soon worked out how to spend a weekend: painting. Not
watercolours or oil on canvas (I struggle to draw a stick man, let alone
paint a picture), but rather soft fawn on walls. Then there was a birthday
party - and in true two year old style, he was more interested in the box
the toys came in than the toys. And why do kids only come near me when they
have sticky hands and chocolate all over their faces?

Done and dusted

Thesis is done! Not submitted yet, but written, formatted, assembled into one 200+ page word doc and emailed to supervisors to be pulled apart one last time. That's done enough for me to have a weekend off - all weekend! It is so long since I had an entire weekend not spent working that I'm not sure I can remember what to do. Or should that be what not to do!

Back in April I vowed not to install Theme Hospital on my then new computer until the thesis was done. Perhaps I will manage to find time to install it this weekend!

Out

I have been outed by old friend 1 to old friend 2 and while this isn't a problem I would rather have outed myself. Just before telling me she knew that I'm gay and that the 'friend' I live with isn't just a 'friend' she invited herself to stay one night next week (she has a meeting up here the following day). Now I can't help thinking that she is only coming up to have a good old nosey around my life and all the details will then be regaled back to friend 1 (and to everyone else who ever new me). This still isn't a problem but her motives for the visit are questionable (I have done the same journey for a 10am meeting and made it on time by catching the early train - this is only the other end of the country, not the other end of the world).

When we all lived in London together (before I was out to anyone) we were in a bar one night and although there weren't many people in there, it was fairly obviously a gay bar. As soon as they realised we were out of there - I don't know what pissed me off more, leaving in a hurry because they were in a gay pub or having to leave half a drink. Hopefully their attitudes have changed but I resent being 'checked out' and then have my life gossiped about.

Ctrl & S

I thought computers were supposed to make life easier! It would appear that writing a thesis is easier than formatting it. If I had a pound for every time I've cursed Endnote this weekend I wouldn't have to work again.

Why?

Why does the dog enjoy being rubbed behind his ears? Why does rubbing behind the dogs ears make him yawn? Why does the dog have such bad breath?

This isn't just dog breath, he smells so bad! When he opens his mouth you can smell it from 6 feet away. The doggy breath is the easiest way to tell he's in the room. We've tried all sorts of chews and the likes but nothing works. Why?

Is it wrong?

I just realised that I'm just days away from submitting my thesis and I can count on one hand the number of times I've been to the library. I think 4 out of those 5 times were just after I started, when I was a new post-graduate student, all keen and eager. The electronic library is quite good but if they don't subscribe to the journal I want I tend to dismiss the article rather than have to go and find the paper version. I guess I'll find out soon enough if this is wrong!

Ring, ring

I could do with a new mobile phone. Well not a new phone as such but a new contract as the network I'm on doesn't have very good coverage either at home or at work and the calls I can make are costing me too much. The trouble is all I use my phone for is voice calls but none of the networks seem to consider this. The tariffs are all about hundreds of texts, so many megabytes of data and dozens of picture messages. All I want is a couple of hundred free minutes so I can listen to my mother every so often. And why can't I have a discount for wanting to keep my old phone not update to one of these new fancy phones that can do anything except wipe your arse for you. (Or have they release that one now?) And no I don't need a camera - the screen's too bloody small anyway. All I want to do is make the occasional phone call. (Actually, most of all I would like a simple 'ring ring' ringone).

Then again - with a better network, I'd have to come up with a better excuse than "Sorry mum, the reception's terrible, I'll call you in a couple of days".

Disturbing the peace

There seems to be a craze among the kids around here for those mini-motorbikes and all weekend some of the local kids have been riding around and around on one. They pass the front of the house, then 15 seconds later pass the rear of the house as they go down the back lane. An entire loop takes about 40 seconds and this has been going on for hours. Not only are they illegal but they are dangerous - they are on the wrong side of the road going around blind corners (I've not really been hoping they meet a car coming in the opposite direction) and I dread to think what would happen if a small child went running from their house into the back lane as they passed.

I might have to go out there and do something to them shortly, so if I disappear from here for a while, look out for me on the news. A trip wire across the lane might work (about neck height - would decapitation result in a custodial sentence?). The wife is more in favour of a phone call to the local constabulary, but they are fairly useless.

Perhaps if I wasn't so tired and sick of working I wouldn't be so grouchy, but they've picked the wrong day to piss me off!

House hunting

Two weeks ago a house went up for sale and we were among the first to see it. It's the best house we've seen (out of about 25 that we've viewed) and wanted to go for a second look before putting in an offer. Unfortunately the estate agent couldn't get in touch with the vendor to arrange it and this week the sold sign was up. We could picture ourselves living there, it's a fantastic house but someone must have beat us to it.

On the plus side, the decorating is nearly finished here - the house has been modernised and is looking gorgeous. The wife started with the bedrooms just before I move in four years ago and every room has been done since. Just the living room needs finishing off. Because it's so nice we're not bothered about staying. It's not a brilliant area but the neighbours seem to be behaving again and the cars haven't been damaged recently (I still need a new wing mirror and aerial though). And the house is looking and feeling fantastic. We won't move until we have found somewhere with the space we have here but would love a garden in time for next summer. While the tomatoes are ripening one by one, they would do better in a proper greenhouse!

Strange dreams

I had a dream last night that I was sitting in my car in a big carpark when TVs Emma Kennedy pulled up nearby in a big, silver, left hand drive car. I got all excited because I read her blog so and went to speak to her. The wife who had been with me in the car wasn't interested and wandered off. I was trying to convince Emma to just give me her autograph and not to read the contents of the notebook I'd handed her, when from the far corner of the car park the wife started shouting loudly at nothing in particular. Emma asked me what was wrong with her and I replied "don't worry about her, she likes having arguments with imaginary people".

I don't often remember dreams but this one was so vivid and the wife did see the funny side when I told her about it.

Story time

Picking up a friends little girl from school the other day, while driving back home I asked her what she'd been doing at school.
Kid: "Mrs Williams and Miss Price took me out in Miss Prices' car at lunch time".
Me: "Why was that?"
Kid: "We went to the shops and bought beer then took it back to school and drank it".
Me: "Really?"
Kid: "Yes. Thats why I'm dizzy"
Me: "You're dizzy?"
Kid: "Yes. I keep falling over"
I burst out laughing
Kid: "And I'm not lying"
Me: "You're not lying but you're telling me stories?"
Kid giggles: "Don't tell my mummy!"

Problem solved

I didn't take that nap, instead I did something disgusting to make me feel better - I had a pot noodle and the most sugary drink I could find and wrapped myself up in a comfy old jumper. Then came the cheesy tunes.

iTunes, although wonderful, take all the pleasure out of creating mix tapes - it's not the same as scattering CDs everywhere and spending hours compiling a tape, only to record over it the following week with a completely different set of tracks. To brighten up this afternoon I found the following, played loud, were particularly effective:

Divine Comedy - National Express
The Cure - Friday I'm in love
Tiffany - I think we're alone now
Rick Astley - Never gonna give you up
Chesney Hawkes - The one and only

Dilemma

I have spent the last few days up a ladder with a paint brush in my hand, so much time in fact that when I got into bed last night, every time I closed my eyes I felt like I was falling from a ladder. After working all day on the house I have been spending all evening working on my thesis and last night spent half the night on it as well. The result is that today I'm tired and could quite easily go to sleep now, in the middle of the day. The problem I've got is do have a nap now and see if it makes working later easier or plod on and crash early tonight? If I sleep in the day I tend to wake feeling groggy but my bed looks so inviting!

Someone's in trouble

The crew of a fishing boat managed to jam the emergency radio channel while they watched an erotic film, thus broadcasting 'Crash' to every vessel within a 30 mile radius. The amusing part of this story is however the skipper of Oceania claimed that although the film was on in the background, he was working hard at the time. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when he got home to his wife!

Excuse for hugs

I don't need to be told that going home to a hug after a stressful day is healthy. Apparently a supportive spouse can lower blood pressure and I need to go and get my BP checked as it was so high last time the doc didn't trust his machine. Hopefully if I get lots of hugs in in the next couple of days it will be nice and low and the doctor will start to leave me alone. Well that's my excuse!

Manic missus

The wife is a life-long supporter of the local football team and until their recent bad run I never imagined that someone's mood could be influenced so much by the outcome of a footie match. I have seen her go from her usual happy self to miserable in the space of 90 minutes, so much so that I have wondered if she is borderline manic-depressive (or bipolar to be PC). Today however, the opposite is true. After something like 22 premiership defeats, away in a local derby today her team pulled off a win. Perhaps the abusive message left on the clubs website last week worked!

The wife is ecstatic, all is well with this little corner of the world and I'm off to see if she wants to celebrate in style!

Under garments

There was I laughing at the wife for having one sock on inside out, completely unaware that I myself was sporting an odd pair. Needless to say, she had the last laugh. My undies are probably back-to-front as well (perhaps I'll get her to check later)!

Sad, I know! This is the most exciting thing to happen to me in two days. I really should get out more (but that would mean changing, just in case I get hit by a bus and end up in hospital embarrassing my mother by the state of my underwear. My Mother used to be worried that "if you get run over with holes in your knickers, the doctors will think I'm a terrible mother").

Ahem... as you were, thank you.

Good vs evil

I hate to say I told you so, but I told you so. 21 days ago I suggested that by the end of this month Christmas would appear in the shops and indeed yesterday I tripped over an artificial Christmas tree and ploughed into shelves stacked with flashing icicles and Santa selection boxes! God help us - it's still summer, just. Well for another 24 hours at least.

In other news I just found out that my last paper has just been published. It's the first paper that is actually all my own work and is the most interesting chapter in my thesis. It was quite exciting work at the time but now I'm sick of the sight of it now! This is of course no interest to anyone other than my parents (who insist on taking all the credit as they did such a good job in bringing me up)!

Talkin the talk

I have a habit of talking to the dog like I expect him to answer back. The wife often doesn't know if I'm talking to her or him. Even more disturbing is that he gives me the same look she does - as if to say "I wish you would just stop waffling on and leave me in peace"!

New Faces

I keep hearing about how face transplants are about to be performed by surgeons in the US. Although I haven't read much about it here are my thoughts on the matter.
I may be being cynical, but how much medical use will this technique have and is it a case of a couple of surgeons wanting their 15 minutes of fame? Unlike the routine transplantation of other organs which are often necessary to save life, I'm guessing that most face transplants will not be life saving. I'm hoping that they would only be for people who have been severely disfigured and not as alternative to a nose job or botox for example (Presumably if people are psychologically disturbed enough to require face transplant for no reason other than vanity they wouldn't cope to well with walking around with the face of a dead person). Then there will be the anti-rejection drugs that recipients will be required to take for life. However, I would imaging that the new face will actually look more like the recipient than the donor as it is the underlying bone and tissue that gives the face its shape.

Whatever the ins and outs of it, I personally don't like it. But that's just my opinon.

I think the paint fumes have got to her

Last week the wife got a couple of builders in to quote for a small repair job. The job was supposed to be done at the end of last week only the guy never turned up. Last night the wife decided to phone to see if and when he is coming, the trouble is all the builders around here seem to have names like and M&J or A&R or S&M. The guy she phoned had no recollection of either the wife or the job she was talking about even though she tried to convince him that he had sent her out to buy a tin of paint - he was having none of it. Fortunately the guy who is supposed to be doing it turned up this morning.

And people wonder why I am devoting myself to a career in dementia research!

Sunday afternoons

No matter how hard I try I could never be butch. Not by putting on my paint splattered jeans and heading off to the DIY superstore. Not by arguing with a 4x4 driver in the DIY store carpark. Not by saying "no darling, you put the kettle on while I finish off the ceiling". Not by ignoring the visitors in order to get the walls finished. The result of trying is blisters on my hands, red skin from trying to scrub the paint off and my arms are aching so badly it's all I can do to lift the glass to my lips. And the worst part is - no matter how appreciative the wife is, I just won't have the energy!

Then again, I'm not quite so 'femme' either. This is from a recent conversation;
WIFE: You could wear your pink dress for the party
ME: Nooo, do I have to?
WIFE: laughs

Black trousers it is then!

At last

We've seen so many houses (lost count at 21) that, although nice places, just didn't have what we wanted. Then last night there was a new one in the paper and we went to see it this morning. We have been celebrating since. It has everything we want and then some. The living space is amazing, a huge conservatory (which I wasn't too bothered with but this is fantastic), a huuuuge kitchen, two bedrooms and an office. Then there is amazing room that could be anything. At the moment it has a pool table, dart board, computers and still space left - it's huge! Then there's the garden - complete with apple trees! It is more than we were thinking of paying for a house but is worth stretching to. Now all we have to hope is that our offer is accepted, we can get this house sold and that I can get started on my new job soon. I can see us living there, the feeling is there as well as all the physical things we want in our new home!

Dream house?

Victorian terrace with lots of original features, three bedrooms plus a games room with a bar, looks immaculate and it's bang on budget! Going to see it in 1 hour, 23 minutes and getting excited. We're sick of looking at dumps and I can't believe that some people dare try to sell their houses in the state that some of these places are in. (Tip: if you are trying to sell a house, it doesn't look good when the tiles that have fallen off the walls are propped up against the bath and there are holes in the wall).
We have seen a mortgage advisor and there shouldn't be any problem getting the mortgage we want (actually, the mortgage is mine, the wife is paying her share out right from the sale of her house - one of many advantages of being with an older woman). I could get up to five times my annual income which sounds terrifying so will settle with 3.5 times which sounds a little less terrifying.

UPDATE:
Not a dream house. No garden = no where to grow veggies. Crap kitchen = crap place for cooking veggies. Not quite so immaculate. Other than that there was loads of house, perhaps too much - I hate housework!

Dodgy dogs

The wife woke up this morning to doggy diarrhoea all over the living room floor and I woke up to much cursing! He is now sitting feeling sorry for himself, all curled up an a ball with his nose tucked under his tail. Should have known something was wrong when he didn't want his beer last night. Whenever you sit down with a bottle of beer he comes and asks for some, he can even tell the difference between Stella and the cheap stuff. But last night he didn't even bother when it was offered to him. Unless it's all just a ploy to get me down on the floor making a fuss of him.

The Sound of Music

I want a night out. The wife and I still haven't managed to find much time for us recently and we love live music, the best gigs being the small, intimate ones. Like a wet bank holiday afternoon in a small bar serving good wine, with about a dozen other people and two guys on their guitars. On holiday in Scotland a couple of years ago we came across a fantastic folk trio, they had us humming the tunes for a fortnight. Folk is best in that sort of small, cosy pub but I was gutted to find out that Kate Rusby is on at the new Sage next week but has sold out. As has James Blunt. David Gray has a new album out but I can't really afford it at the moment and he isn't coming anywhere near here on his tour anyway. Rumour has it that Juliet Turner is touring early next year and she tends to play smaller venues. We saw her last year and that was fantastic (saw Norah Jones that same week and there is no comparison - she was just dull). I can't get to our CDs either, they're buried in the spare room while the decorating is being done so it's just iTunes and a rather limited library after Radio 2 goes a bit strange at this time of night!

Rant no. 3

I didn't panic buy - I needed to put petrol in my car this week so I did it yesterday, before everyone else did it would seem. I didn't buy more than normal, I always fill the tank (it's only a little tank). The wife also bought petrol yesterday (again need, not panic) and I couldn't believe that the first place we went to had no fuel left. I was even more amused to read that people are stocking up on food as well! The plan as I understand it, is not to blockade refineries but simply to protest about the tax amount of tax we pay on fuel. And quite right too! Almost half the cost of petrol is tax. I get frustrated with the majority of the car journeys I make. I could use public transport to get (most of the way) to work but it would take me twice as long, is dirty and unreliable and costs as much as driving. Visiting my parents can take twice as long as it should do because of congestion on the M1 but is still quicker and cheaper than taking the train (or three trains as the case may be).

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Okay, three rants in one day is maybe too much. I have a target to write so many words each day and this is the only way I will make it today!!

Hot and Bothered

My laptop has a habit of crashing once it has decided that it has been on for too long. I think it might be overheating, perhaps I should read the destruction manual. If that is the case it may need regular breaks, like myself. The trouble is that I do take regular breaks (okay, irregular but frequent breaks) but spend such breaks on the computer - reading/writing blogs, playing SuDoku etc. The other day I took 5 minutes out to send the wife an email. She was only downstairs but I thought it was a romantic gesture. Our first ever dance was to Van Morrisons Have I told you lately... So in this email I simply asked her that same question. To which the reply came in the form of a shout up the stairs "told me what"? This has to be the only fault my woman has but I often have to tell her that she doesn't have a romantic bone in her body. This morning I told her I love her and her reply was "do you think these new cushions go with the rest of the bedding"!

Ashes

Am I the only person in the country not bothered about the cricket? I just can't get excited about a game that lasts five days and still ends in a draw! It's not as if it was even a fantastic victory, from what I've heard, Australia were beaten by the weather rather than any fantastic play from England. I may be sounding unpatriotic here but lets get things into perspective. There was all this hype when England won the rugby world cup two years ago and look what happened to them. They've done nothing since and all those fair-weather rugby fans are now die-hard cricket fans! And I suppose next summer will be full of football fever - providing England can qualify for the world cup at all! Personally I can't wait for the Winter Olympics and the Curling - no honestly, I love watching the Curling. Sweeeeeeeepppp!

Why I blog

I blog so that I can work out what day of the week it is. With working at home 7 days a week and Corrie on five days a week I actually have to work out what day it is. Blogger tells me easily. I hope that I don't get knocked out and end up in hospital being asked what day it is. Year and Prime Minister I might manage but day of the week.... is it Friday yet?

Treats

A while back I got into doing surveys online for a couple of companies. I have so far been rewarded with CDs and shopping vouchers. This morning I got a second £20 HMV voucher and was even more impressed when I read they could also be redeemed in Waterstones! I'll wait until my Phd is done and then go and spend spend spend on lots of lovely books. Fiction books, nice trashy novels! I can't remember the last book I read that wasn't a text book.

In the mean time I'm going to turn this computer off and try and take the wife to the pub for some us time away from all the distractions associated with our home.

Katrina

I don't want to harp on about New Orleans too much, especially as it is all being said better than I could say it elsewhere. This story from two paramedics caught up in the hurricane is one story which for me has stood out. Beth is one of the 'ordinary Texans' mentioned there and her experiences make interesting reading. It does however seem that it is still the case that many of the people in control of various operations are not doing much to help.

Procrastination

After hearing complaints of high petrol prices both here and in the US, and that a repeat of the 2000 fuel protests is possible, it started me thinking.

Apparently in the US a gallon now costs $3 and one gallon is approx 3.78 litres. If my calculations are correct then that is 79 cents per litre and by todays exchange rate that is 43 pence per litre! Even 10 years ago in the UK petrol cost more than 43p per litre. I'd happily pay $3 per gallon. And surely it's not all down to Katrina, it has cost more than twice that for a long time!

Results!

I finally have the last of my results through so can start finishing my thesis. A few late nights and a little less blog reading should get it done in the next few days. I am also having to do little bits and pieces in preparation for starting the new job. Finding the motivation for all of this is hard at the moment. I have had enough of my old project and am itching to get back into the lab and start something new. Plus the new project has the potential to produce something which is really useful and could, hopefully make a difference. I remember saying something similar four years ago and will probably keep saying it every few years throughout my career. But this new stuff is a lot more focussed than my PhD project and hopefully I am now better at getting done what has to be done.

This all sounds a bit vague but I can't give away too much information here. There are reasons why I have to retain some degree of annonymity here and any more details may blow my cover. I will get around to explaining some of this soon but I think that's enough rubbish for one post!

Weather

Following on from my last post but on a serious note this time, my thoughts are with those affected by Hurricane Katrina. Not even going to try to say any more on it.

Should get out more

Is it sad that I find the traffic reports on the radio interesting? Also, I wish that we had a TV weather channel over here rather than just having to make do with the short, half hourly bulletins on the news channels. The BBC used to be quite good but their new graphics give next to no information. It's not that I am particularly bothered about what the weather is doing day to day I just find it all interesting.

September

September always seems to me to mark a beginning in a way that is different to any other month. It’s almost as much of a new start as January is. Perhaps this stems from all those years where September marked the start of the new academic year. Perhaps it is because this is month that marks the end of summer. By the end of September the leaves will be turning, the days getting shorter and the temperatures falling. I’m sure that within the next 30 days where barbeques have been piled up for the last few weeks the first signs of Christmas will appear! Argh…

Guided tours

My parents came up to visit me for the first time in four years and so it was my job to play tour guide for the weekend. It was good in that I got to revisit some fantastic places as well as see some of the sights that I should have seen by now but haven’t got around to. That is probably the best thing about showing people around a place that they have never visited before, you see things that you otherwise take for granted.

I got to explore the Northumberland coastline again. The wife introduced me to this part of the world when we first met and I would imagine that this is the most beautiful part of the British coast. The difference this time was that it was bank holiday and everywhere was so busy (and it lacks the romanticism – showing the parents is not the same as being shown by a new lover). I was however well fed and got a tank full of petrol paid for!

I think that I did manage to make my parents see why I am happy to settle here. Many people, my parents included tend to have this pre-conceived idea that this is the poor end of the country overrun with poverty and in decline since to the loss of the mining and ship building industries in the 1980's. They seem to have gone home with a different view and have realised that this is actually a pretty good place to live. I now need another long weekend to recover, instead it is the final push to get my thesis finished and submitted a.s.a.p. then perhaps the wife and I can get back to our normal way of life and spend some more time in these fantastic places.

An entertaining shopping trip

Dear Manager of Supermarket number 1,
Please find the lost tomatoes under the salad display cabinet. Please accept our sincere apologies for dropping the fruit, I hope that the ones you found weren’t too badly bruised but please be aware that there is more under there.
Yours.....

Dear Manager of Supermarket number 2,
I am writing to inform you of a lost packet of chocolate cakes behind the freezer containing sausages in isle 1. Unfortunately the wife dropped them just as 5 year old child lifted the lid the aforementioned freezer causing the cakes to slide off the top and down the back.
Yours....

Animals

It's such a shame that the family that runs a farm breeding guinea pigs for research feels they had to close. I hope that the remains of Mrs Hammond which were taken from her grave last year will now be returned to the family. The regulations controling the use of animals are so stringent in this country and if farms like this continue to close we will have to obtain the animals from elsewhere, where there are less strict regulations.

Unfortunately, there are no alternatives to the use of animals in either drug development or in order to understand more about the biology of health and disease. Computer simulation and in vitro methods are not yet able to replace the animals. I use animals in my own research and if there was an alternative I would use it, it is the least favourite part of my job, unfortunately I have no option. Having said that, the animals we have are better looked after than a lot of pets are!

I was interested to read that around 2.8 million animals were used in the UK in 2003 (of which 80% are rodents). Last year there were over 3 million deaths from AIDS worldwide (approximately three-quaters of these were in Africa alone) and nearly 40 million are infected with HIV. And this is just one disease that scientists are using animal research to try and come up with a solution to.

More choices

The harbour house has moved down the list of possible new abodes. Yes the location is fantastic, especially on a gorgeous, warm, sunny August evening. But this is the North East and we don't get huge numbers of days like that. We do get a fair bit of cold, damp days however and summer or winter (especially winter) we can go for several days hidden in the fog coming in off the sea. Besides which, in the house itself there isn't even room to swing a cat. Not that we have a cat (although I keep saying we should get one, our family is supposed to include a cat isn't it?), but you never know when you might need the room for swinging a cat. It is right at the top of our budget as well and what's the point in spending that much on a house if there isn't even the room for a greenhouse.

May favorite house now has a sold sign up outside which has cured my obsession and I haven't driven past since! I thought I would be gutted about not getting it, I really liked this place, but I'm not. It's obviously not meant to be.

Tonight we're going to see four more houses. One of them is a viewing with an estate agent we met a few weeks ago and I'm dreading it. She is so strange, I struggled to keep a straight face, we had to visit each room in a particular order - I dread to think what would have happened had we gone the wrong way. As for telling her we weren't interested, we didn't dare!

Choices

I grew up in the middle of the country and so only got to see the sea on holiday. Now we live about 10 minutes from the beach and it is the perfect escape, at any time of the year (this picture was taken last winter just before sunset). We went to see a house at the harbour last night, with a view of the boats at their moorings and the beach just a two minute walk away. It is however a bad location in terms of the wifes job and my daily commute and it's expensive. But it would be a complete change of lifestyle. We're torn!

Lessons

All work desktop computers should have a back-up battery so that in the event of a power cut I don't lose an afternoons analysis. Alternatively I should learn to save analyses more frequently than every time I go to the toilet!

[All expletives have been deleted from this post].

Bricks & Mortar

Where do you start compromising when you’re looking for a house? We can’t compromise on price, that’s definite. We need three bedrooms. We want a garden and off road parking and a study (so that I can “work from home” as much as possible). Do we lose out on room size in order to get the kitchen we want or swap a garden for a fantastic location? (And the garden has to face the right direction to get the best of what little sun we get up here). Should we be looking at cheaper and then doing some work to get what we want? I have also realised that privacy is an issue since the neighbours have built an extension – they are now perfectly positioned to gawp into our kitchen (where the wife now has to tell me to leave her alone as we have an audience - it is however their own fault however if they get an eye full of me in the shower, that’ll teach them to be looking).

Yesterday we saw a fantastic house, lovely location, had everything we need including the most amazing bedroom and en-suite (complete with the bed the wife’s planning on buying anyway) but the living room and study were tiny. It’s just so frustrating, especially as we are nearly in a position to be able to put in an offer on our dream home. We also need to find somewhere we are both happy with and fast because I keep driving past my current favourite and having a good look at it – I could soon be arrested for stalking!

Reassurances

I was very reassured by my doctor this morning when he said he had never seen anyone with a blood pressure that high who wasn't brain dead. Thankfully he blamed the machine and not me!

On another unrelated health matter, medical ethics. So many issues surrounding medical ethics are so complicated that I can often not make up my mind either way. The nature of my own research means that we have to be strict about ethical procedures and there is an article today which illustrates why this is necessary. As yet, human tissue is the best way to investigate the workings of the body as well as the causes, prevention and treatment of disease. But what if we were to screen all embryos to avoid people even developing disease? There is a new debate about whether embryos should be screened for certain cancer genes. It sounds great in theory but where does it stop? It's great if it can prevent people developing terminal diseases. There are already techniques out there that would allow the every single gene a person carries to be screened in order to identify genes which may or may not cause disease and my biggest concern is that it would be taken too far. What is the cut off point for saying there is a chance your offspring might develop disease X, 1 in 10, 1 in 100, 1 in 10,000? Most diseases are caused by environment and lifestyle as much as genetics.
I guess I'm saying that in cases where there is a strong family history and a very high probability of disease, screening sounds like a way to go. Other than that, it's a no.

Nonsense

I don't mind being rebranded. I don't mind being a "British Citizen ™"! Can we have a flashy logo to to in our passports!

And people get paid to come up with ideas like that!

Destruction

I bought a new chair yesterday for these long nights at the computer. I was trying not to as I'm hoping to be finished writing this week but when the second caster fell off and I toppled off the old chair I decided something had to be done. So of course I spent more than I wanted to but got a nice comfy new chair. Having deciphered the instructions destructions the thing was put together securely, but the lever thingy doesn't work so as soon as I sit on the damn thing it drops so that I can barely see over the desk. Taking it apart and rechecking the destructions hasn't helped and now the dog has peed up the box to prevent me taking it back. I think I'm in more danger of falling off the pile of cushions than I was of falling off the old chair. The only reason it didn't end up going out of the window was the wife's tea and biscuits!

Oh Brother!

I'm not going to go on about how good or bad Big Brother has been this year
but I would like to get a couple of things off my chest. Firstly, Craigs
obsession with Anthony; the sexual harrassment going on there was awful and
Craig should have been warned about it. Secondly, Kinga and the wine bottle.
Now I'm not easly shocked but to stick a bottle up there, twice, in the
middle of the big brother house shocked me. I like to think that I am quite
open minded and what people get up to in private is entirely up to them and
I like to enjoy myself as much as the next person. Indeed I regularly take
great pleasure in a bottle of wine, just not in that way. (I have heard
hospital tales about how glass bottles can break at just the wrong time).
Have people no shame? On national television of all places! Tut tut.

Too little time

So much to blog about, so little time. There is however a light at the end of the tunnel, I keep catching a glimpse of my life on the other side of this thesis. Seems that I do have time though to check the BBC site several times each day (excuse: I have to keep an eye on latest health and technology news – honest!)

Firstly, nanotechnology: although in the early stages, this sounds amazing. Hopefully this will go on to become a cure for all sorts of diseases one day. And people wonder why I get excited about biomedical science!

Secondly, does 2am count as early morning. The only reason I am at my most productive at this time is because I realise the day is over (yesterday that is) and I haven't finished everything I was aiming to (yesterday).
But that's enough for one day. Thank you and Good night.

Food glorious food

The wife and I have decided that we are happy anywhere as long as the food is good. Last week we went out for lunch and I thought the wife was going to be physically sick, the meat was so badly off, it was disgusting. Some of our fondest memories are of meals we have had. Particularly in Spain last year where the hotel food was pretty poor but out in the little villages the seafood was some of the best I've ever had and the paella was heaven! So to celebrate the wifes birthday this weekend we stayed in and I cooked. The mussels were fresh off the boat that morning along with sea bass, king prawns, smoked salmon pate, Mediterranean roasted vegetables and bruschetta, washed down with a good bottle of wine. Mmm mmm. She certainly seemed pleased with it!

Then it shone

The sun did come out and the planes did fly. The Battle of Britain trio were circling over our way while waiting to display. Other than that and the odd Red Arrow speeding past the window I couldn't see much, but it sounded like a good show!

Here comes the sun?

While everywhere else seems to be experiencing a heatwave it has finally stopped raining and the jumpers have come off again. The clouds seem to be lifting a bit so lets hope we see some action today. I of course will just be listening to the display while glued to my comp (although I may have to hang out of the window when the Red Arrows are on). Fingers crossed it all goes ahead today.

All work and no play

I have been given a deadline for finishing my thesis which means that I am tied to this machine about 18 hours each day, apart from today that is, when I have been scraping paper off walls. The wife was looking dangerous perched on top of the ladder so I decided it would be safer if I helped out, yet another muscle group I was unaware of is aching tonight. One good thing to come out of it though is that the bright pink which was revealed three days ago is actually starting to grow on me (I have always said that the wife has terrible taste)! This sudden push is because we have found the house we want but before we can put in the offer we need to get this place ready to sell and I need to get finished in order to get confirmation of my new job for the mortgage etc. It's all quite scary but at the same time after four years together, it will nice to make a bit more of a commitment to each other than pooling our CD collections!

Potty

Am I the only person in the world not reading Harry Potter (or should that be to have read it, it is several days since the latest book was published after all)? I never have read any Harry Potter nor am I likely to. I also have no desire to see the films either. Not that I have time to read anything these days that isn't related to my Phd, although I could possibly find time to re-read this little masterpiece again. Are the Harry Potter books really that good or did some marketing person just have a particularly good day?

Hindsight is a wonderful thing

I don't want to go on too much about the goings on in London but I do want to show my support for the actions of the police on Friday. A guy, wearing a bulky coat, responded to police by running away, jumping a ticket barrier and running onto a tube train in the current climate. This is not normal behaviour and I feel that the police were entirely justified in shooting him, they took the only option they could. I am however sorry that a man lost his life, another victim of the recent terrorist activities. But unlike the 52 who were killed as a result of the bombs on the 7th, this one is understandable.

Trust Nana

Proud parents-to-be and soon to be big brother go straight from their first scan to visit Nana. Excited, four year old James shows the scan pictures to his Nana.

Nana: Is this your little brother or sister then?

James: Yes

Nana: Ugly little bugger isn't it!

Perhaps this is why mothers-in-law have such a reputation.

What to do

While walking back from the shop around the corner (having to have at least one ice lolly each day last week I developed an addiction to Fruit Pastil ice lollies, an addiction which is hard to break even though the holiday is but a distant memory) we spotted an oldish guy lying under a bush and a dog lying under the next bush. The wife decided he was dead but I reassured her that he is probably asleep in the shade on a hot day (spot which of us is the optimist and which is the pesimist). Now I’m wondering which of us was right. But then if he had breathed is last surely the dog would have been sitting at his side whimpering and barking as in the movies?

Metro

I use the Metro fairly often but I have witnessed crime, vandalism etc more often than I have had my ticket checked. As a result I'd guess that quite a high proportion of those 37 million passengers don't buy a ticket.

About time

David Gray finally has a new album out in September and about time too! I do think however that his old stuff is better - Sell, Sell, Sell and A Century Ends are brilliant, more acoustic and a bit rough around the edges if you know what I mean.

The first concert I ever went to was David Gray (not including a Fast Forward Fun Day at Alton Towers back in the early 90's with the likes of Worlds Apart where I did the whole teenage girly scream thing for Aaron et al. In fact, I think their autographs are still in my old autograph book, hidden away at my parents place - shhh, don't tell anyone)!

Anyway, I digress. Must try and find some of this new stuff, see if there are any sneak previews out there, I've been waiting three years for David Gray to come up with something else.
______________________

Drunken ferry boat woman
swayin' on your sea
if I turn on the gasfire
by the rain rattled window
won't you sail on over to me

The hail storm tumbles
the rail line rumbles
you move through the doors with me
on an overcast day
the pale winter city
an afternoons debauchery

Debauchery - A Century Ends

Back at it

Back to work today feeling refreshed and motivated - it can't last surely! Last week was great, a second childhood. Swimming, football, kite flying, swings, slides, sand castles, snots, tears, tantrums and lots of ice-cream (and that was just me). I think I enjoyed the water slides more than the kids, they were a perfect excuse to get away with all sorts! I even have a suntan, we did the right thing staying in the North-East rather than heading abroad. Unfortunately, the dog didn't enjoy his holiday quite as much (we had to leave him with friends), he is scratching constantly. Although scared of their cat he obviously wasn't so scared as to run away fast enough to avoid the fleas. I am wondering which are more trouble - kids or pets. While it was great to have them for a week, it was also nice to take them back to their parents at the end.

Holidays!

Wahoo - off to a caravan by the sea with two over excited four year olds.

Thoughts

I was living in London at the time of the nail bomb attacks in Brixton, Brick Lane and Soho a few years back. I remember how I felt, particularly at the attack on the gay pub in Soho on a Friday evening at the start of a holiday weekend. This, together with the long lasting IRA threat was often in my mind when there were stations evacuated or the train was stopped in a tunnel for long periods of time. Eventually it did become just an irritation but I often felt a little 'jumpy' at what it could be.

Yesterday I couldn't concentrate on my work for listening to the news (I ended up not even trying to work and grouted the bathroom tiles instead). Sadness, anger, frustration, relief when I knew my old friends were safe - so many emotions, yet I now live 200 miles away. Unfortunately it was only a matter of time.

Today it was different. From here, London seems to be carrying on regardless. There seems to be a certain amount of positivity. Comparisons to the blitz and the IRA campaign have been made and life goes on.
This has all already been said today (far better than I can say it) by so many other people, but I did like Emma Kennedys statement "...I remembered how much I love London and how a handful of fucked up mentals aren't going to stop me loving it". I hope that people carry on loving London and that this doesn't put people off visiting one of the best cities in the world.


Ed: Blogger is claiming that it's Saturday, but only just, my head is still in Friday. Trust me to be a little bit slow!

London

After such joy and celebration yesterday, this today. My heart goes out to the victims and their families. Let's hope the worst is over and that there are no more incidents to come.

Warming

This weather will go a long way to help to convince Bush about global warming. It's so cold and hasn't stopped raining here all day.

Here's hoping that Monsieur Chirac can find something edible while he is in Scotland and that Mr Blair doesn't have too much fun! Okay, Bitching over.

Olympics 2012

Come on London.

Just doing my bit to 'back the bid'.

Appeal

I'm not really laughing at the woman across the road who appears to have locked her keys in her car.

I am also not leaving this room until Chapter 5 is written. Will someone please send coffee and ginger nuts my way. And if you could grab one of the Juliet Turner CDs off the shelf on your way up the stairs, that would be much appreciated!

Turning failure into success

This is a great idea, the Journal of Failed Experiments, as is the Journal of Irreproducible Results. To think of the time I might have saved over the last few years if I knew that my experiments were going to fail or if I could publish experiments that did work once but will never produce the same results again. Alas this is not how science works and even when you do get good results no one really wants to believe you. Forget Nature and Science, I'll keep aiming for the Journal of Negative Results. It might save some disappointment.

Spreading the news

This week is Alzheimer's Awareness week. The are over 750,000 people in the UK with dementia (around 4.5 million in the US) and while most people think that dementia is a disease of old age there are around 18,000 people under the age of 65 with the disease. Although rare, there are people as young as 30 who develop Alzheimer's.

As anyone who has known someone with dementia will know, the condition impacts not only on the patient but also on whole families and in particular carers. The Alzheimer's Society do fantastic work, in particular the support they provide to affected families, as well as campaigning on policy and research funding. I have heard some fantastic stories about the help the society has provided for people affected by dementia. (The Alzheimer's Association do the same in the US).

Just wanting to help to increase awareness of dementia and publisise the work of the Alzheimer's society.
Thank you and goodnight.

Time flies

Oh poo! It's July already. That means that the self-imposed June deadline for submitting my thesis has passed (probably because since setting that deadline I discovered those lovely people over on the left who have too many interesting things to say). July also means that I have to remember several birthdays, in the right order (and try to forget my own) as well as a family wedding. How many times will I get asked why I'm "not settled down yet?" or "are you courting yet" etc, etc. Somehow I don't think "well actually I have been living with my woman for the last four years" will go down too well. But it might be interesting!

Argh!

I hate b****** Powerpoint! Why does it have to make itself so damn awkward?

Sniff sniff

This heat wave will soon come to an end now that I have given in and spent a small fortune on hayfever treatments. I knew it was time to concede defeat when the wife woke up, took one look at me before saying "you look bloody awful". She's such a sympathetic soul. I'm giving a seminar at the end of the week so would like to look respectable for that. Although red, puffy eyes might distract the audience from the drivel I'm talking about.

Getting on

I'm getting old. I can't stay up 'til 3am talking about absolutely nothing of any importance any more. Of course it's nothing to do with the bottle of wine I got through.

Had a day away from the comp yesterday and spent it painting doors and gates. It was the best afternoons therapy, out in the sunshine, painting the gates in the yard. I was sorry to finish them. I had forgotten what it is like to do a job and see a finished result at the end rather than spend a day working and still not be nearly finished.

While I'm here I'd just like to say that I hope Andy Murray gets left alone to get one with what he wants to get on with. All the expectations heaped onto Tim Henman always seem to end in disappointment, lets not start the same thing with this young lad.

Houses

Have lost count of the number of houses we have seen in the last week, ranging from needing total refurbishment to newly renovated. We decided that to completely gut and refurb a place would be too much work. The newly renovated house was absolutely gorgeous but just wasn't homely. Others haven't had the number of rooms we need, apart from one but the rooms were tiny and a bedroom needs enough space for more in it than just a bed! Some have been absolute shitholes. Saw a lovely one tonight but it didn't have a garden.

Unfortunately on the first night we saw a fantastic home but it is just too expensive. The only other problem with it is that the kitchen is new with integral appliances which will therefore stay so there is no room for the wifes new fridge-freezer which she loves. Yes, I love a woman who is letting her love of a fridge-freezer influence the house we buy! All I can hope is that the price of this house will come down enough to compensate for having to keep her fridge freezer in the garage.

Life in general

I got to do the school run today to pick up a friends kid. It's a risky business, what with small people tripping you up and bouncing off you and having to dodge 4x4s and people carriers. And why does the lollipop lady insist on having a conversation with you in the middle of the road! By the time we had covered the 10 minute walk home, in 20 minutes, we were covered in ice-cream, grass stains and had two grazed knees. I don't think I will be asked to do this too often.

Instead of parenthood as a career I'm considering becoming a taxi driver. I went through a phase where I considered being a pilot but couldn't be doing with the maths and physics, besides I look better in a lab coat than in any sort of uniform. It is still an ambition to learn to fly and to get a pilots license one day. Aviatrix has some interesting stuff to say on aviation related matters.

I'll shut up now and recommend Tuesdays, thought provoking entry over at Waiter Rant.

Random

This article amused me. It's a shame it didn't amuse Tom Cruise as well.

The English have invaded Scotland again and are trying to kill off the local inhabitants.